Couple Of Thoughts On The Hospital

Couple of weeks ago  my 82 year old mother fell off the kitchen chair trying to get rice down from the top shelf. So me and my brother took her to the emergency room.
A lot of people that don’t have insurance go there cause they can’t turn you away. The place was packed with little kids that were sick.  Couple of chairs away from me the little boy threw up. My brother and niece got a basket and paper towels for the little kid. My nice touch the little boy’s jacket and she got all nausea and ran to the bathroom.  Two other people later on that sat in that same chair got sick and threw up.
There was a guy in there that looked like a dog with a big nail on the end of it’s claw ripped a big gash in the side of his nose. Sine it wasn’t life threatening,  they let him sit there and bleed.
My mother got sent home from ER and a week later had to call the ambulance. This time we went to a different hospital and they took her right in.
Now I want to talk about the bed pan. I don’t know, this is really degrading. First of all in ER when they close the curtains, they don’t close all the way. My mother wanted a bed pan. I said I’d get on. The lady next to my mother was using one and the curtain wasn’t shut. This got me sick.  I said to my niece, “take over, I’m going in the waiting room.”
Later on me and my brother are in the ER room with my mother and my brother says, “Do you smell anything?” I said “no.” Couple of seconds later it hit me. Smelled like somebody missed the bed pan. It was awful. Me being the brave soul, I got out of there leaving my brother. Minute later he was out the door.
On my deathbed, I would never use the bed pan. I would crawl to the bathroom, do my duty and die on the bowl.

Zappa and Wilson

Today is Frank Zappa's birthday

and Carl Wilson's birthday

and they had that big hit together, "I May Not Always Love You Suzie Creamcheese."

The Car Radio

They have the car radio in the wrong spot. Most of the time it’s right in the
middle of the dashboard where the person in the passenger seat can get to it.
How many times have you had the radio on and the person in the passenger seat
lowers it. The reason it’s on loud is because I don’t want to talk to you. I
want to hear music.
They radio should be on the left of the steering wheel where only the driver
can get to it.

Frank Zappa Drinks

Quote

"You can't insult stupid"
                    Zapple100

A Star Is Born

Rocks In My Sneakers

Lately I’ve been getting rocks in my sneakers. Right at the front of the foot where I put all my weight on. I’ve been wondering. How did the rocks get in there? I don’t have any holes in my sneakers. They don’t have those tiny air holes on the side either. They have to get in from the top of the sneaker around the ankle. How do they do that? Rocks don’t wait for a sneaker the come by then jump up and try to fall in. I could only think of one way. You’re walking. Your left foot hits the side of a rock causing it to fly up into the air. While this is happening, your right foot comes by at just the right time for the rock to fall between your sneaker an ankle, then working it’s way up to the front of the foot.
I know it’s a long shot. That’s why people don’t have rocks in they’re sneakers all the time.

Couple Of Random Thoughts

Ever watch cams? When I first got my computer I used to go into the Yahoo chatrooms. Girls would type something then sit back smug like what they typed was the secret to life. “This is my gift to humanity. Life will now be better because of me”. Then you read what they typed and it says, “you’re an asshole 2.”
Two sounds I really hate, the sound of “typing,” and the sound of horses galloping. The sound of horses galloping sound like people typing. I don’t know why they bother me so much. Whenever I’m watching a Western on TV and the galloping starts, I lower the volume. I hope I don’t miss any dialog then I think with the sound of the galloping, who can hear any talking anyway.
I don’t send out many Christmas cards anymore. Maybe four, and that’s pushing it. People used to send me cards then ask if I got them. I tell them “yea.” Then they say I didn’t one from you. I wouldn’t say anything. Then next year the same thing. Only that year I said, “I didn’t send you one.” Common sense, if you didn’t get it, I didn’t mail it, so don’t ask. Just stop sending me cards, and they did.

Frank Sinatra

(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Art)

House In Water

Jazz

I just came back from my local Record and CD show. Wasn't much of a CD Show
this time as around 90 percent as albums and 45's.
I did make a killing. I picked up 3 CD's for 10 dollars:

Kenny Burrell - "Midnight Blue"
Grant Green - "Green Street"
Herbie Hancock - "Maiden Voyage"

Instant Mashed Potatoes

I love instant mashed potatoes. So smooth, and they come in flavors. Whenever I tell people I like instant mashed potatoes, they always say the same thing, “you haven’t tasted mine.” So whenever I went over somebody’s house, they would have to make me mashed potatoes. There was always lumps in them but I was nice. I would say, they taste good. Deep down inside, I thought, “why do I have to eat this crap. They’re lumpy.”
So now it got to the point where, if somebody has to  make me their mashed potatoes, I just say, “I can taste the lumps.” This gets them pissed off, “while I mashed it for five hours straight.  How can there be lumps.” Well there are. Five minutes, smooth mashed potatoes and they come in garlic flavor.

Things To Ponder

If Rock musicians “Rock,” do Jazz musicians “Jazz?”

I remember taking this picture back in the 80′s and thinking how it reminded me about The Beach Boys’ “Holland” album cover. If you know what the album cover looks like, then you know what I mean.

Mayor Dumbo

The Count gives Mayor Dumbo five reasons the NY Marathon should not be run. 5. Couldn’t  two thousands cops be put to better use, like maybe helping people with no power.
4. Gonna look good on TV to see the runners run by destroyed houses.
3. People that have no water will be attacking the people handing out free water to the runners.
2. Nobody will be able to cheat and take the subway cause it’s flooded.
1. You don’t want to make yourself look bad.

Lady With Umbrella

Wall Street

I took this on Wall Street around the 1980's.

NRBQ

A couple of pictures I took of NRBQ from The Pastime Pub in Amityville back in the late 70′s. Me and my friends went there thinking another band was going to be there. When we got there we saw the roadies unloading NRBQ’s equipment from the truck into the bar. I remember the piano coming out of the truck. I don’t think I ever saw a band with a real piano in a bar before. They were a couple of bucks more then your average band but we figured, what the hell, we’re here already. I’m glad we stayed. I never seen a band like this before. They didn’t play regular Rock music, they played everything. The thing I remember most about the concert was Tom Ardolino’s drumming. Every time he hit the drums, it looked like the kit was going to fall apart, then at the last second, it went back together.

Picasso

(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Art) My good friend Ralph Rumpelton sent me his latest, a takeoff on Picasso’s “Hands Holding Flowers.” Ralph calls his, “Squeezing Flowers.”
I went to Google to see what the original looked liked and found that there were a couple of them. I go to one website cause the paintings on there looked really good, better then most. When I got to the site, I find out that the pictures I liked were painted by 2nd graders. I coldn’t believe it, they were just as good as Picasso’s. But since Picasso painted it first and it’s done by him and nobody would have cared if it was done by a 2nd grader first anyway, the original is worth a ton of money.

“Vinny’s Room”

(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection Of Fine Art)
 Here it is, a takeoff on Van Gogh’s “Vincent’s Room.”

Then Rumpelton had a great idea, put somebody in the bed.

Al (It's too High) Gore

Can anybody be more dumber then him? Maybe the people that believe him.
He said the reason that Obama did so bad in the debate was because he got to Denver two hours before the debate and the high altitude got to Obama.
Maybe if Obama got there a day or two earlier and did his homework, he would have done better.
He should just quote Leon Russell:
“ohh the altitude
seems to get to me”

Sorry Sorry Night

One of the few Ralph Rumpelton oil painting, titled, “Sorry Sorry Night.” . Done on canvas about 20 years ago. Currently hanging in Fla. The genesis for the painting is a series of drawings Rumpelton did titled, “On The Road To Bora Bora.” It has the main character, Sid getting away from the hustle and bustle and walking to Bora Bora.
Van Gogh would be so proud.

Picasso

"Two Musicians And Somebody Holding Sheet Music"
(From the Ralph Rumpelton Collection Of Fine Art)

Album Covers That Look Alike

Mike Love Kicks Brian Wilson Out Of The Beach Boys

I didn’t bother me before when Mike Love and Bruce Johnstone toured as “The Beach Boys.” They weren’t going to get back together so this was the best we got. Now that they got back together, Love is going out with his band as “The Beach Boys.”  This after Brian Wilson said he would still like to tour with them and make a new record.
Seeing the Love version of the band now is a insult.  What’s going to make matters worse, if they don’t say who’s going to be in the band, people could be going expecting to see the real band.

Facebook

When Facebook was about to be traded, it was a big deal. A lot of people were asking me for advise since I used to work on Wall Street. My advise was to was to stay far away from it as possible. Everybody looked at me like I was crazy. They were telling me how popular Facebook is and how many people use it. We have to look at is as what it really is. It’s a website were people post mostly nothing. And this is Facebooks biggest selling point, their website.
What’s gonna happen is people are going to tire of Facebook as soon as something new comes along. Then what’s Facebook going to do. The website is their big seller.
Facebook opened around 38 dollars and now is selling under 19. When people see me now they think I’m a genius. I just tell them it was common sense.

JASON BAY

Wouldn’t it be funny if Jason Bay got suspended for steroids.

Life On Mars!

Here’s proof that there is or was life on Mars. Here’s part of a picture that was taken on Mars. You can see the finger that’s buried in the ground. If they dig that up, they might find the rest of the Martian.

Quote

"It’s always people that know the least that say the most."
                                                             Zapple100

Would You Like To Hang Out With Your Favorite Rock Star?

I was thinking about this the other day.What musician would I like to hangout out with for awhile. Then it came to me that if I hung out with them and didn’t like them, I would hate their music.
 Hanging out with Frank Zappa:
Hey Frank, the Giants are playing the Dodgers. I got some box seats down the first base line. Lets go.
Baseball is boring. It’s for boring people
Well then, lets go to the bar and have a couple of beers.
Are you kidding me. Hang out with the riff-raff.
What do you want to do then?
I’m gonna go in my basement and compose. I’m a composer.
Hanging with John Lennon:
Hi John.
You’re nothing but a dumb little twit. I was in The Beatles.
Want to hear the new Oasis single?
They’re nothing but a forth rate Beatle copy band. They couldn’t carry our jock strap.
Where you going?
Me and Yoko are going out to spread the word of peace and love.
Hanging with Brian Wilson:
Hi Brian.Brian? Hello. You there?

Hot Tuna- “Hot Tuna”

I put in a request to  my friend Ralph Rumpelton (the most famous, unfamous computer painter) for a Hot Tuna painting.
He did the first Hot Tuna album, front and back.
Here’s the front cover:

 and here’s the back:

Later on for some reason it got reversed. The front became the back and the back became the front. I think he nailed the front cover. The back has more of the Rumpelton style then the original back.
It’s weird that he picked this cause this is the first Hot Tuna I ever bought. I think the store was called Masters, then it changed to Modells. That’s where I got them.  They were like a Woolworths. They sold every thing there. This had this table with all RCA albums on it for $1.99. I picked up some Hot Tuna, Paul and Grace stuff and some Nilsson stuff there.
This Hot Tuna album is excellent. It’s a live album with Jorma Kaukonen on guitar, Jack Casady on bass and Will Scarlet on harmonica. Scarlet was asked to sit in on a song or two and stayed for most of the album.
When the CD was first released it sounded just like the album with a lot of hiss on it. It didn’t bother me cause I used to the album. Then it was re-released with some bonus tracks on it. So I bought it again for the bonus tracks. The real bonus is that they got rid of the hiss and it sounds a lot better. This is one of the first unplugged albums. Highly recommended.

You Can't Make Them Happy

No matter what, you can’t make Beach Boys fans happy. I’ve been a fan since 1964. Followed them up to the present. None of my friends were Beach Boy fans, but they always had a special place in my heart cause the first 45 I ever bought was “I Get Around.”
With the internet, I got to see what other Beach Boy fans say. They whine and cry about everything. Mike Love is big and evil. He messed up “Smile.” He held Brian back. He sings too much. If he doesn’t sing they don’t need him. The fact is, all these people that complain, they don’t know what really went on, they weren’t there.  There’s three sides here, Brian’s side, Mike’s side, and if somebody wrote a book ( doubt they spoke to Mike or Brian) their side which is the least truthful.
Now, this brings me to the new album and tour. I think it’s great that they’re on tour and the new album, I can’t say enough about it. I’ve been playing it over and over.
Now we have the people that say, “It’s not the Beach Boys up there. Too many backing musicians.” The fact is, this is what’s left of The Beach Boys. For reasons beyond our control, Carl and Dennis couldn’t make it.   As for the backing musicians, this is probably their last go around. If they want it to sound like the records, they need them there. If they weren’t there, then people would be complaining about how thin they sound.
I hear people complaining about the new album. “It sounds too much like a Brian Wilson album.” Isn’t this what they wanted, Brian to write the songs again like he did in the early years. Now that he’s doing it, people complain. Well, who’s gonna write the songs for The Beach Boy album? Mike Love. That would go over great. Then people will complain that Mike is taking over the band and not letting Brian write.
You better be happy with what you’re getting. Cause after this, I’m afraid surf’s out.

BEACH BOYS AND MADONNA

I’m on Youtube checking out the Beach Boys current tour. They’re doing, “I Just
Wasn’t Made For These Times.” On the top of the page is a link to watch Madonna
live from Paris.
This just hit me as being funny. Like I’m gonna go from Brian Wilson singing “I Just
Wasn’t Made For These Times” to Madonna.

Jerry Garcia

Bob Dylan at Budokan

(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Art)
I remember having this in album form. I hated it. Then when the CD came out I figured, why not and bought it. Still hated it so I gave it away. Then it was the only Dylan CD I didn’t have so I bought it again.
I read a couple of things about this album. Dylan needed money for alimony so he went to Japan to do a couple of shows. The promoters there wanted him to do his hits. Dylan did not like being told what songs to do so he changed them radically.  You got flutes and horns, reggae versions of songs, and big band versions.
After all these years it’s still not one of my favorites, but I don’t hate it like I used to. It’s just a part of Dylan’s career. When I listen to it like that, I like it.

Couple Of Thoughts

With today being Sunday, I figured I’d buy the NY Times. I haven’t bought it in a long time and I thought that while I was watching the ball games, I’d read the paper. I walked into 7-11, walked over to where they sold the papers and saw the Times was 5 dollars. Saw that and waked right out of the store.
I was watching some sitcom on TV land, the one with Wayne Knight in it.  I noticed that every line had to be funny, or what the writers thought were funny. Well it’s not funny. A laugh track after every line isn’t even funny. Take away the laugh track and nothing is funny.
I know somebody that has been watching baseball for a year. He thinks he knows everything cause,. he’s been watching it a year. We’re watching the Yankees play the Red Sox at Fenway. We’re talking about how shallow the left fielder is playing. Ball goes over his head it’s trouble. So, the “guy who knows everything,” say’s “catch it off the wall.” Now we didn’t say anything to him cause we didn’t to make him look stupid. We just ignored him. The more we ignored him, the louder he’d yell, “catch it off the wall.” Finally I had enough and yelled, “you can’t catch it off the fucking wall.” That was it, he didn’t say a word and we finally had peace.
Now when somebody thinks they know everything, but they really know very little, we yell, “catch it off the wall.”
A lady that lives by me got a dog. There’s a lot of dogs where I live. When they get to know you, they don’t bark at you. I was walking by and this new dog starts to bark at me. The lady is trying to shut him up. I said to her, “as soon as he gets to know me, he won’t bark. The lady says, “he don’t like you either.” I learned to just keep walking and not even bother.

To Tell The Truth

(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Doodles)

Sea Monkeys

When I was little I  mailed away for Sea Monkeys from the back of a comic book. I also mailed away for a million little soldiers which all got lost around the apartment and my mother picked them up in the vacuum cleaner.  She wanted to kill me for that. When I got the sea monkey kit I was all excited. I was expecting a little sea monkey family. All I got was some little slimy things swimming around. What the hell was this! Where was the sea monkey husband, sea monkey wife and sea monkey little kids. These things were gross I didn’t even want to look at them.  Slimy little things swimming around in the slimy water. It was so gross. I had my mother throw the things down the toilet. Then I was afraid to use the toilet cause I thought they would swim back up. I didn’t even want to take a bath. What if I was taking a bath and, there they were in the tub. This is like a bad Sci-Fi movie.

Dual Beer Holes

There’s a Miller beer commercial that has people popping a second hole in the top of the can. They use whatever they can to make the second hole. I idea is to make the beer pour faster out of the can. That’s not really what the commercial is about. It’s about how cool you can look popping the second hole. I’m not making this up. The commercial is  nothing about the beer, it’s about coolness. Personally I think it’s stupid. I won’t punch a second hole in it just because of the commercial. I have seen people popping the second hole (lets keep it clean here), and making a big deal out of it. “Look at me, I’m imitating the commercial. I’m so cool.”

Do You Like Worms?

(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Art)

Bongo Fury

Zappa's last great album. After this, most of his stuff was low ball comedy.

The Mirror Man Sessions

(From The Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Art)

Lebron James wins NBA Champions Title

You watch ESPN and you get the impression that Lebron James wins NBA Champions Title. He did it all by himself.
Kevin Durant says he never seen one person run around so fast and guard five people, steal the ball then go down score two and is fouled.
When James first went to Miami it was James, Wade, Bosh and two other guys. Now it’s only James. The other guys were just lucky to be on the same team as James.

Dylan Finds God

At The Concert For Bangladesh, Dylan finds God and lead him on a path to some bad albums.
(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Art)

I Don't Believe In Lennon

I always thought John Lennon was one of these guys who spoke just to hear himself speak. Didn’t matter what the subject was, he pick a point then defend it. A week or so later he’ll take the other side and try to come up with someway to defend that point.

Here’s a good example. On his song “God” he says,

“I don’t believe in magic
I don’t believe in I-ching
I don’t believe in Bible
I don’t believe in Tarot
I don’t believe in Hitler
I don’t believe in Jesus
I don’t believe in Kennedy
I don’t believe in Buddha
I don’t believe in Mantra
I don’t believe in Gita
I don’t believe in Yoga
I don’t believe in Kings
I don’t believe in Elvis
I don’t believe in Zimmerman
I don’t believe in Beatles
I just believe in me…and that reality”

Couple of years later he comes up with this brilliant piece of philosophy,

“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”

I know that people change and over the years their thinking changes, but he  did this a lot. One minute he’s singing “Give Peace A Chance,” then he’s singing “Power To The People.”

In The Zone

 I had something weird happen to me the other day. I’m resting on the couch
listening to a “Dylan/Dead” boot with the headphones. I’m in the stage of half
awake and half asleep when I hear the phone ring. I think to myself, what a
great recording, it even picked up somebody phone, and really clear. Then I
realized that it was the real phone ringing. I didn’t even bother to answer it.

I Gave Her My Heart

but she wanted my sole."

Bob Dylan – “Infidels”

from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Art)

“Man thinks ’cause he rules the earth he can do with it as he please”

That’s what Ralph Rumpelton did here.  His take on the “Infidels” album.

The Beatles Are The Best Band In The World

That’s what my friend said to me. I was over his house helping do something on his computer when I noticed a Beatle picture on the wall. I pointed to the picture and said, “nice picture.” He said to me in a voice like he wanted to fight, “The Beatles are the best band in the world.” I just looked at him, didn’t say anything.
How can you argue with people like this. Music is a matter of taste. You can’t go by how many albums the artist sold. If you did, then The Beatles aren’t the best band in the world.
It’s the same way with people who only like one type of music. They box themselves into a corner. I won’t listen to this cause it’s not Classic Rock. These people are very opened minded. They miss all the other stuff that is out there.

Eduard Khill, RIP

Chillin’

“What are you doing?”
“I’m Chillin’.”
“Put a sweater on.”
Don’t laugh, this really happened. The first time somebody told me they were “chillin’,” I thought they were cold.
So what is “Chillin’?” It’s a fancy way of saying, “I’m doing nothing.” But you can’t say you’re doing nothing.  There’s 40 million things to do and you can’t find one thing to do. So you say, “I’m Chillin’” to make it sound like you’re doing something, even if it’s nothing.
I don’t know if people still use that word. I think they might have figured out what it meant by now.

The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady

Charles Mingus - “The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady”
(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Art)

I got to say, not my favorite Mingus album. I have to be in the right mood to listen to it. The background music don’t jive with the solos. Everything seems to be out of sync.

"The Scream (for Ice Cream)"

“The Scream (for Ice Cream)”
(From the Ralph Rumpelton Collection for Fine Art)

Beach Boys - "Wild Honey"

(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection Of Fine Art)

Splinter - "The Place I Love"

One of my best pickups ever, Splinter’s “The Place I Love.” Me being a big Beatle fan I read about this album but never seen it anywhere. I knew Harrison played on it and produced it, so I was on the lookout for it.
 One day (this is way back when) I go to Titus Oaks Records which was in an old Weston’s building) and there it was in the used album section. Right in the front of the used albums row. I ran over there and grabbed it before anybody else could. I turn it over to see what the back cover looked like and it had credits on it. There I saw the names, Hari Georgeson, P. Roducer, and Jai Raj Harisein. I knew that was  George Harrison, he was all over the album. Other names were Harrison’s friends, Gary Wright, Jim Keltner, Billy Preston, Willy Weeks, and Klaus Voorman.
The album cost $1.99 and the best part, it was in mint condition. Not a single pop on it.

Beach Boys - "Surf's Up"

(from The Ralph Rumpelton Collection Of Fine Art)

Bob Dylan - "New Morning"

Bob Dylan - "New Morning" microsoft computer painting.
(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection Of Fine Art)

Sorry Sorry Night the Computer Version

Up and coming artist, Steff has done a computer version of “Sorry Sorry Night.”  The lone man (and it’s not me no matter what some people think) looks lost amid the bright colors. The contrast between the sad man and bright colors makes the man look even sadder.
What do you think?

Rare Ralph Rumpelton Painting Missing!

Ralph Rumpelton’s oil on canvas “Sorry Sorry Night” is missing. This valuable piece of art may have been stolen. This painting could be worth millions. This painting was done in Rumpelton’s “I got some extra money to buy the paint and canvas” stage. It’s very rare cause after this, Rumpelton, never had much money and did most of his paintings on the computer.
Please help in finding this fine piece of art. Any info would be kept confidential (unless you want the fame and notoriety that goes with finding this fine piece of art).

Press To Play

Paul McCartney – “Press To Play”
(from The Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine, Super Fine Art)

Google

 Google did something tho their image page. Before when you clicked on a picture and saw just the picture, you could copy and paste it. Now you can’t. You have to go to the website to do it.

Badfinger - "Say No More"

Badfinger - “Say No More” microsoft computer painting.
(from The Ralph Rumpelton Collection Of Fine Art)

Evolution

I know some people who are atheist and their big thing is getting people who believe in a religion to look stupid. One of these people asked me if I believed in evolution. I asked him if he meant that man evolved from another species. I said until I see evidence, no. Then he started rambling on how stupid I was to believe that God made man. This is where I had to point out his stupidity. I never said  I believe God made man. Then I asked him what proof he had for believing in evolution. What did man evolve from? He had no answer. He just went on saying , scientist said this and that. So I said you have no proof, so therefore your basing your belief of evolution in faith just like people who believe in God.

Frank Apple

(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Art)

Rings On Their Toes

Why do girls wear rings on their toes? Is it suppose to have some kind of meaning.
First of all you have to bend down to put them on. Then if you put them on too deep, they get stuck. Then how do you get them off. Must be hard.
When I see a girl with rings on her toes, I think that she has fingers where her toes are suppose to be.
I used to know a girl who thought she was so cool. She wore a wrist watch are her ankle. Finally I said to her, “What’s the point of that. Every time you want to see what time is is you have to raise you leg.”
I just don’t understand. People will do the weirdest things to be fashionable.

Red Neck Mother

Genesis - "Duke"

(from The Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Art)

Leon Brussel Sprout

(from the Ralph Rumpelton Collection Of Fine Art)