Couple Of Thoughts

With today being Sunday, I figured I’d buy the NY Times. I haven’t bought it in a long time and I thought that while I was watching the ball games, I’d read the paper. I walked into 7-11, walked over to where they sold the papers and saw the Times was 5 dollars. Saw that and waked right out of the store.
I was watching some sitcom on TV land, the one with Wayne Knight in it.  I noticed that every line had to be funny, or what the writers thought were funny. Well it’s not funny. A laugh track after every line isn’t even funny. Take away the laugh track and nothing is funny.
I know somebody that has been watching baseball for a year. He thinks he knows everything cause,. he’s been watching it a year. We’re watching the Yankees play the Red Sox at Fenway. We’re talking about how shallow the left fielder is playing. Ball goes over his head it’s trouble. So, the “guy who knows everything,” say’s “catch it off the wall.” Now we didn’t say anything to him cause we didn’t to make him look stupid. We just ignored him. The more we ignored him, the louder he’d yell, “catch it off the wall.” Finally I had enough and yelled, “you can’t catch it off the fucking wall.” That was it, he didn’t say a word and we finally had peace.
Now when somebody thinks they know everything, but they really know very little, we yell, “catch it off the wall.”
A lady that lives by me got a dog. There’s a lot of dogs where I live. When they get to know you, they don’t bark at you. I was walking by and this new dog starts to bark at me. The lady is trying to shut him up. I said to her, “as soon as he gets to know me, he won’t bark. The lady says, “he don’t like you either.” I learned to just keep walking and not even bother.