Heavy Metal Meets The Grateful Dead

I just came back from Best Buy. My computer is giving me problems and I don’t think it’s gonna last long so I went to checkout some new ones.
While I was there I was looking at the basket they have of discount CD’s.  As I’m looking I hear some lady say, “Pretty soon they’ll be no CD’s left.” I walked over there, looking at what CD’s they have left and she starts talking to me about the lack of CD’s in the store. I tell her, I have to buy most of my CD’s online. She said she don’t like to do that but she might have to. I asked her what CD she was looking for and she said the new Bon Jovi. Then she said it’s not really her type of music. I asked here what her type of music was and she said Heavy Metal. She looked like she was in her 60’s, and she mentioned that her grandkids  new more about computers then her. She asked me what music I listened to and I said The Grateful Dead. Then we both kind of stared at each other kind of strangely. Then we both went our own ways.

Beatle Question

 This Beatle cup I have is a montage of Beatle stuff with part of this word behind them. I have no idea what this means. There's a couple of letters before it but can't make them out because they're hidden by The Beatles.

Some Cool Christmas Gifts

The Supermarket Horrors

Going food shopping by me is always an adventure. First you get these ladies in the parking lot who don’t know how to drive. They’ll try to squeeze into a small spot while blocking traffic. The entire other side of the parking aisle will be empty, but they have to squeeze into that little spot because it’s one space closer to the store.
Then walking into the store I run into people I call “The Wanderers.” These are people that have no concept that there’s other people around. They’ll just backup into you. Cut you off when you’re trying to walk past them. The best part, after they bump into you, they just ignore you and keep on walking waiting to get their next victim.
Now we come to my favorite. The parents that won’t control their kids. They’re always right in front of me and won’t let me pass. After waiting for an opening to pass, and saying excuse me fifty time, I just ram through. Lookout motherfuckers, here I come. So I say, I’ll skip the next aisle so I don’t run into them. I go down two aisles over, and there they are. Like they read my mind. Why didn’t they go down the next aisle and how did they get there before me. Is there a shortcut through the shelves. No way they should have got there before me, but there they are. Blocking everybody and destroy the store.

Alright, I’ll got and get cold cuts. Wouldn’t you know it, they have the number right before me. How do they manage to get right before me before I get there. It’s like the Twilight Zone. I expect to walk past Rod Serling and see him talking into cameras commenting on my personal hell.

Drinkin' With Ruben and The Jets

The Creeper

 I'm in my living room today. My front door has a half circle on the top. I see my storm door open up very slowly. I don't hear anything, I just see it. Then through the mail slot in the door an envelope comes through. Again very quiet. If I didn't see it, I wouldn't know what was happening. It doesn't fall to the floor, it just stays there. Again, no drop, no noise.
 It reminded me of a murder mystery. The storm door opens up very slowly. Then a dart gun comes through the mail slot. Next thing you know, I feel a pinch in the back of my neck. The room starts to spin and down I go. Next day the cops are there checking out the dead body.
 Back to reality. I thought it was the girl that lives upstairs putting a Christmas card in the slot. I was gonna run over and yank the door open and scare her. Then I thought better of it. When I looked at the envelope, it didn't have my name on it. It was more the girl upstairs name but the handwriting was really bad.
 I wrote an little note and taped it to the envelop saying The Creeper dropped this off at my house and put it in her mail slot.

Tea Leaves

I’m moving up in the world of coffee and tea. I used to drink my coffee and tea with milk and sugar. Used tea bags and coffee in a can. No more. Now I grind my coffee beans and use tea leaves. Also, don’t use any sugar, little milk in my coffee and no milk in the tea. Pretty soon, it’ll be black coffee.
People tell me that grinding the coffee beans taste better. So far I haven’t seen much of a difference. Maybe if I buy real expensive coffee beans I’ll taste a difference but I don’t want to spend that much money on coffee.
With the tea, I taste a difference. I got green tea leaves and the tea is green. The green tea bags, it’s not so green. But then again, what can you expect for one dollar for one hundred green tea bags. It was a good deal so I bought it. Taste good but it’s not green.
I figure, since I’m going hardcore here. Why bother grinding the coffee beans. I’ll just take a handful and suck on them.
Then with the tea leaves, I’ll do like the baseball players do. I’ll take a wad of the stuff and put it in the side on my mouth. I’ll look cool spiting out green spit.
Next thin you know, I’ll be growing my own weed.

God Save Us

“God save us from the Jesus freaks.”
                        Zapple100

Why Do They Say That

Ever lose something, like your keys. You’re running around looking for them and somebody say’s “Where did you leave them last.”
If I knew where I left them last, they wouldn’t be lost.

Quote

“I haven’t met one person that doesn’t have issues.”
                           Zapple100

Verizon Phone Bill

I got my phone bill today. My phone calls came out to under four dollars and my entire bill was for sixty five dollars.
Only extra I have is an unlisted number and I pay for phone line maintenance. I don’t understand whey I have to pay for phone line maintenance. If I’m paying to use the phone, they should make sure I’m hooked up to it. If there’s something wrong with the line, they should fix it so I can use the service I’m paying for.
I’ve been meaning to dump my home phone for some time. But there’s something in the back of my head saying if something goes wrong with my cell phone, I’m screwed. Even though, on the cell, I pay only twenty dollars a month for unlimited calls and 500 text.
Once I get over this blockage in my head, I’m dumping the home phone.

Books

What I like about books is you start reading, then you get lost and explore new things then at the end, come home.

This Is Embarrassing

How The People Made The Media Cry

I saw videos of MSNBC when Trump won and they were in tears there.
I thought they were crying because Trump won. Now I’m not so sure. I think they might have been crying because they didn’t sway the people to vote the way they wanted.
News shows used to report the events. We don’t have news shows anymore. We have propaganda machines where they keep on saying the same thing over and over trying to brainwash the public.
People are wising up now. They don’t care what celebrities saying or who they’ve voting for. Cause people now know that celebrities are dumb asses. Just because they make movies, or music, doesn’t make the rocket scientist.

Greatest Idea Ever

I don’t know what is better, the Microwave, I’ll never go hungry, or the GPS, I’ll never get lost again.
Now I seen something that blows the both of them out of the water. Pot Size Spaghetti! Why didn’t somebody think of this before. Like me. Well, I did, I didn’t know what to do with the idea.
I stopped making spaghetti because every time I snapped it, it would go all over the place. I was luck to get half of it into the pot.
When I went to Stop and Shop to buy this, the lady  at the checkout said to me, “Are Americans this lazy.” I said to her, “Are you kidding. This is great, now it all goes in the pot.”  She ended up saying that maybe she was gonna try some.

I Think I Was Abducted By Aliens

I   think I was abducted by aliens the other day. You know how people that are abducted say they’re missing time. Well, they must have gotten what they wanted out of me really fast or they got me up to the ship and said, “this won’t do, send him back.”
I was doing laundry the other day. I’m in my apartment and had to be at the laundry room at 4:15 to take the clothes out. I leave my apartment at 4:14. Takes a minute to walk to the laundry room. Get there at 4:15, take the clothes out of the washing machine and put it in the dryer. The dryer is right next to the washer. Put in my card to pay. The whole thing took about two minutes to do.
So now it’s 4:18 the latest. They dryer takes 45 minutes to do. I’m walking out of the laundry room and look at the clock on the wall to see what time I had to be back. The clock said 4:30. I stood there puzzled. I couldn’t believe it was 4:30. It should have been 4:17 or 4:18. I take my phone out of my pocket cause I thought maybe the clock on the wall was wrong. My phone said 4:30. I lost 13 minutes.
I know sometimes I can zone out. But I  know I didn’t zone out for13 minutes staring at the dryer. And I know what time I left my apartment cause I wanted to be there right when the washer stopped.
If I’m lying in bed one night and I see the greys standing above me, I’ll know something is up.