Ancient Aliens

From watching the TV show “Ancient Aliens,” I am 100% sure that there’s more aliens on earth then humans.

I Buried Paul

Bread

"The bread is getting smaller."
                              Zapple100

"NEW"

Tom Waits

“I’m so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.”

                            Tom Waits

As I See It

 Mick Jagger finally came out and said what everybody knew but didn’t want to say. “Nobody wants to hear the new songs.” Why is that? When you hear an old song it brings back memories of your youth. You and your friends driving around trying to pick up girls. It brings back good times. If you’re in your 60′s and you hear a new Stones song that rocks, you sit on your couch and say, “it’s not bad.” Not the best memories.
 So what are these new bands doing today. They’re building memories, so 20 years from now people will go to concerts and say, I remember when that song came out.

DVD Player

After about 5 years of asking my mother if she wanted a DVD player, she finally said yes. The ladies by where she lives are starting to have a movie night once a week. My mother has a bad back and it’s hard for her to get around. So the ladies said they would have it over her place so she didn’t have to go up and down the stairs. I burn a Frank Sinatra concert for her. Then I went to the store, bought a DVD player and took it to her place to hook it up. I’m explaining to her how to work the DVD player. We’re standing by the TV and the Sinatra concert starts to play. My mother is standing half a foot away from the TV, with a big smile on her face watching the TV screen. After about a minute, I said to her, “Why don’t you come and sit down.” She would have stood there for the whole show if I didn’t say anything.
Now I’m gonna burn a Louis Prima DVD for her and when I go there next Saturday, we’ll watch it.

The Jorma Burger

If I get overtime, sometimes I go to The Bagel Doctor for breakfast. Every once in awhile there’s this guy working behind the counter who looks like =
a young Hot Tuna Jorma Kaukonen. He’s talking to me and I can’t understand him, he has to repeat everything. Part of it is my fault cause it’s been so busy at work, I’ve been out of it. My eggs are cooking and he’s ringing me up and asked me if I was going. The way he said it, it sounded like something big was happening and everybody was going and he wanted to know if I was going. So I said, “going where?” Then he said, “you going to eat here or go.” So I said I’m going.
When I left the guy was probably thinking, whats wrong with this guy.

Lennon's Klaatu Remark

"Klaatu Mania will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right. We're more popular than Klaatu now."

The Great Sphinx Of Long Island