Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Couple Of Thoughts On The Hospital

Couple of weeks ago  my 82 year old mother fell off the kitchen chair trying to get rice down from the top shelf. So me and my brother took her to the emergency room.
A lot of people that don’t have insurance go there cause they can’t turn you away. The place was packed with little kids that were sick.  Couple of chairs away from me the little boy threw up. My brother and niece got a basket and paper towels for the little kid. My nice touch the little boy’s jacket and she got all nausea and ran to the bathroom.  Two other people later on that sat in that same chair got sick and threw up.
There was a guy in there that looked like a dog with a big nail on the end of it’s claw ripped a big gash in the side of his nose. Sine it wasn’t life threatening,  they let him sit there and bleed.
My mother got sent home from ER and a week later had to call the ambulance. This time we went to a different hospital and they took her right in.
Now I want to talk about the bed pan. I don’t know, this is really degrading. First of all in ER when they close the curtains, they don’t close all the way. My mother wanted a bed pan. I said I’d get on. The lady next to my mother was using one and the curtain wasn’t shut. This got me sick.  I said to my niece, “take over, I’m going in the waiting room.”
Later on me and my brother are in the ER room with my mother and my brother says, “Do you smell anything?” I said “no.” Couple of seconds later it hit me. Smelled like somebody missed the bed pan. It was awful. Me being the brave soul, I got out of there leaving my brother. Minute later he was out the door.
On my deathbed, I would never use the bed pan. I would crawl to the bathroom, do my duty and die on the bowl.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Zappa and Wilson

Today is Frank Zappa's birthday
Frank Zappa
and Carl Wilson's birthday
Carl Wilson
and they had that big hit together, "I May Not Always Love You Suzie Creamcheese."

Friday, December 14, 2012

The Car Radio

They have the car radio in the wrong spot. Most of the time it’s right in the
middle of the dashboard where the person in the passenger seat can get to it.
How many times have you had the radio on and the person in the passenger seat
lowers it. The reason it’s on loud is because I don’t want to talk to you. I
want to hear music.
They radio should be on the left of the steering wheel where only the driver
can get to it.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Quote

"You can't insult stupid"
                    Zapple100

Saturday, December 8, 2012

A Star Is Born


Rocks In My Sneakers

Lately I’ve been getting rocks in my sneakers. Right at the front of the foot where I put all my weight on. I’ve been wondering. How did the rocks get in there? I don’t have any holes in my sneakers. They don’t have those tiny air holes on the side either. They have to get in from the top of the sneaker around the ankle. How do they do that? Rocks don’t wait for a sneaker the come by then jump up and try to fall in. I could only think of one way. You’re walking. Your left foot hits the side of a rock causing it to fly up into the air. While this is happening, your right foot comes by at just the right time for the rock to fall between your sneaker an ankle, then working it’s way up to the front of the foot.
I know it’s a long shot. That’s why people don’t have rocks in they’re sneakers all the time.

The Dinosaurs