Heavy Metal Meets The Grateful Dead

I just came back from Best Buy. My computer is giving me problems and I don’t think it’s gonna last long so I went to checkout some new ones.
While I was there I was looking at the basket they have of discount CD’s.  As I’m looking I hear some lady say, “Pretty soon they’ll be no CD’s left.” I walked over there, looking at what CD’s they have left and she starts talking to me about the lack of CD’s in the store. I tell her, I have to buy most of my CD’s online. She said she don’t like to do that but she might have to. I asked her what CD she was looking for and she said the new Bon Jovi. Then she said it’s not really her type of music. I asked here what her type of music was and she said Heavy Metal. She looked like she was in her 60’s, and she mentioned that her grandkids  new more about computers then her. She asked me what music I listened to and I said The Grateful Dead. Then we both kind of stared at each other kind of strangely. Then we both went our own ways.

Beatle Question

 This Beatle cup I have is a montage of Beatle stuff with part of this word behind them. I have no idea what this means. There's a couple of letters before it but can't make them out because they're hidden by The Beatles.

Some Cool Christmas Gifts

The Supermarket Horrors

Going food shopping by me is always an adventure. First you get these ladies in the parking lot who don’t know how to drive. They’ll try to squeeze into a small spot while blocking traffic. The entire other side of the parking aisle will be empty, but they have to squeeze into that little spot because it’s one space closer to the store.
Then walking into the store I run into people I call “The Wanderers.” These are people that have no concept that there’s other people around. They’ll just backup into you. Cut you off when you’re trying to walk past them. The best part, after they bump into you, they just ignore you and keep on walking waiting to get their next victim.
Now we come to my favorite. The parents that won’t control their kids. They’re always right in front of me and won’t let me pass. After waiting for an opening to pass, and saying excuse me fifty time, I just ram through. Lookout motherfuckers, here I come. So I say, I’ll skip the next aisle so I don’t run into them. I go down two aisles over, and there they are. Like they read my mind. Why didn’t they go down the next aisle and how did they get there before me. Is there a shortcut through the shelves. No way they should have got there before me, but there they are. Blocking everybody and destroy the store.

Alright, I’ll got and get cold cuts. Wouldn’t you know it, they have the number right before me. How do they manage to get right before me before I get there. It’s like the Twilight Zone. I expect to walk past Rod Serling and see him talking into cameras commenting on my personal hell.

Drinkin' With Ruben and The Jets

The Creeper

 I'm in my living room today. My front door has a half circle on the top. I see my storm door open up very slowly. I don't hear anything, I just see it. Then through the mail slot in the door an envelope comes through. Again very quiet. If I didn't see it, I wouldn't know what was happening. It doesn't fall to the floor, it just stays there. Again, no drop, no noise.
 It reminded me of a murder mystery. The storm door opens up very slowly. Then a dart gun comes through the mail slot. Next thing you know, I feel a pinch in the back of my neck. The room starts to spin and down I go. Next day the cops are there checking out the dead body.
 Back to reality. I thought it was the girl that lives upstairs putting a Christmas card in the slot. I was gonna run over and yank the door open and scare her. Then I thought better of it. When I looked at the envelope, it didn't have my name on it. It was more the girl upstairs name but the handwriting was really bad.
 I wrote an little note and taped it to the envelop saying The Creeper dropped this off at my house and put it in her mail slot.

Tea Leaves

I’m moving up in the world of coffee and tea. I used to drink my coffee and tea with milk and sugar. Used tea bags and coffee in a can. No more. Now I grind my coffee beans and use tea leaves. Also, don’t use any sugar, little milk in my coffee and no milk in the tea. Pretty soon, it’ll be black coffee.
People tell me that grinding the coffee beans taste better. So far I haven’t seen much of a difference. Maybe if I buy real expensive coffee beans I’ll taste a difference but I don’t want to spend that much money on coffee.
With the tea, I taste a difference. I got green tea leaves and the tea is green. The green tea bags, it’s not so green. But then again, what can you expect for one dollar for one hundred green tea bags. It was a good deal so I bought it. Taste good but it’s not green.
I figure, since I’m going hardcore here. Why bother grinding the coffee beans. I’ll just take a handful and suck on them.
Then with the tea leaves, I’ll do like the baseball players do. I’ll take a wad of the stuff and put it in the side on my mouth. I’ll look cool spiting out green spit.
Next thin you know, I’ll be growing my own weed.

God Save Us

“God save us from the Jesus freaks.”
                        Zapple100

Why Do They Say That

Ever lose something, like your keys. You’re running around looking for them and somebody say’s “Where did you leave them last.”
If I knew where I left them last, they wouldn’t be lost.

Quote

“I haven’t met one person that doesn’t have issues.”
                           Zapple100

Verizon Phone Bill

I got my phone bill today. My phone calls came out to under four dollars and my entire bill was for sixty five dollars.
Only extra I have is an unlisted number and I pay for phone line maintenance. I don’t understand whey I have to pay for phone line maintenance. If I’m paying to use the phone, they should make sure I’m hooked up to it. If there’s something wrong with the line, they should fix it so I can use the service I’m paying for.
I’ve been meaning to dump my home phone for some time. But there’s something in the back of my head saying if something goes wrong with my cell phone, I’m screwed. Even though, on the cell, I pay only twenty dollars a month for unlimited calls and 500 text.
Once I get over this blockage in my head, I’m dumping the home phone.

Books

What I like about books is you start reading, then you get lost and explore new things then at the end, come home.

This Is Embarrassing

How The People Made The Media Cry

I saw videos of MSNBC when Trump won and they were in tears there.
I thought they were crying because Trump won. Now I’m not so sure. I think they might have been crying because they didn’t sway the people to vote the way they wanted.
News shows used to report the events. We don’t have news shows anymore. We have propaganda machines where they keep on saying the same thing over and over trying to brainwash the public.
People are wising up now. They don’t care what celebrities saying or who they’ve voting for. Cause people now know that celebrities are dumb asses. Just because they make movies, or music, doesn’t make the rocket scientist.

Greatest Idea Ever

I don’t know what is better, the Microwave, I’ll never go hungry, or the GPS, I’ll never get lost again.
Now I seen something that blows the both of them out of the water. Pot Size Spaghetti! Why didn’t somebody think of this before. Like me. Well, I did, I didn’t know what to do with the idea.
I stopped making spaghetti because every time I snapped it, it would go all over the place. I was luck to get half of it into the pot.
When I went to Stop and Shop to buy this, the lady  at the checkout said to me, “Are Americans this lazy.” I said to her, “Are you kidding. This is great, now it all goes in the pot.”  She ended up saying that maybe she was gonna try some.

I Think I Was Abducted By Aliens

I   think I was abducted by aliens the other day. You know how people that are abducted say they’re missing time. Well, they must have gotten what they wanted out of me really fast or they got me up to the ship and said, “this won’t do, send him back.”
I was doing laundry the other day. I’m in my apartment and had to be at the laundry room at 4:15 to take the clothes out. I leave my apartment at 4:14. Takes a minute to walk to the laundry room. Get there at 4:15, take the clothes out of the washing machine and put it in the dryer. The dryer is right next to the washer. Put in my card to pay. The whole thing took about two minutes to do.
So now it’s 4:18 the latest. They dryer takes 45 minutes to do. I’m walking out of the laundry room and look at the clock on the wall to see what time I had to be back. The clock said 4:30. I stood there puzzled. I couldn’t believe it was 4:30. It should have been 4:17 or 4:18. I take my phone out of my pocket cause I thought maybe the clock on the wall was wrong. My phone said 4:30. I lost 13 minutes.
I know sometimes I can zone out. But I  know I didn’t zone out for13 minutes staring at the dryer. And I know what time I left my apartment cause I wanted to be there right when the washer stopped.
If I’m lying in bed one night and I see the greys standing above me, I’ll know something is up.

Eating With Fork Upside Down

I was watching the Food channel before and I noticed a lot of people eating with their forks upside down.
To me this  makes no sense. There’s a greater chance of the food falling off your fork upside down.
They say it’s proper etiquette to eat that way but what if you’re in a restaurant, eating with your fork upside down and the food falls off in the dish and splatters on the person sitting next to you. Not very proper.

Advise On Exile On Main Street

Awhile back when I worked in Manhattan, my friend Robin wanted to get a Rolling Stone CD. After work we went to J&R Music World. We’re looking at the Rolling Stones CD’s and I’m giving my opinion on them. I told her “Exile On Main Street” was one of their best albums. She’s going to me, “I don’t know if I want it.” I’m telling her how great it is and she don’t want to listen to me. All of a sudden somebody walks by and say’s “it’s their best.” Next thing you know, she was up at the cashier paying for the thing.
I told her, “what the hell it that. I’m telling you how great the album is, you don’t want to listen to me. Some stranger walks by, he tells you how good it is and you buy it. He said the same thing I said and you don’t listen to me, who is your good friend and you listen to somebody you don’t know.”
She had nothing to say. Turns out me, and the stranger were right cause the next day she came to work saying how good it is.

My Immigration Policy

I came up with this idea for the illegal  aliens that are in the USA that nobody ever mentioned. Maybe there’s a major flaw in it, that’s why it was never brought up.
This plan can make everybody happy, or nobody happy but I think it’s fair.
First thing you have to do is secure the boarder. Build a wall, or fence or more guards, whatever. The boarder has to be secure or we’ll be in the same mess down the road that we are in now.
I’m gonna use simple numbers to make it easy. Let’s say there’s 10 million illegals in the country. No criminals, law-abiding people. Give them a path to citizenship.
Then say if the US takes 1 million legal people from Mexico. Stop all legal immigration from Mexico for 10 years to make up for the 10 million illegal immigrants the US are making legal.

What The Voice Of Yoko Will Do To You

Happy Birthday Chuck Berry

Sophia Loren Rocks

Wake Of The Flood

 Just came across this for the Dead's "Wake Of  The Flood" album."

Wake Of The Flood

Colin Kaepernick and the NFL Sponsors

This whole Colin Kaepernick thing with him kneeling, other black players giving the black power salute is kind of blowing over. Nobody cares anymore what they do. At first it was a shock, but now, who cares. The camera goes on them for a second, the song is over and people are ready for the game.
However if you want to get back at them, there’s one easy thing to do. You don”t have to write letters to the NFL, or protest outside the stadium.
Just boycott the NFL sponsors and watch the fun start. They lose money, they pull out of the NFL. The NFL has a hard time getting sponsors, all hell breaks out, and the people have spoken.
And who are the NFL sponsors. Well here’s a list of some of the big ones:
( I hate Budweiser anyway)

Gallagher & Lyle

Dylan Tries To Help Yoko

Dylan and Math

Elvis and the Grateful Dead

I just started reading this book “Elvis and The Grateful Dead.” When I first saw the cover, I thought it was about Elvis Presley and The Grateful Dead. Turns out Elvis is a basset hound who thinks he’s Elvis Presley reincarnated. The Grateful Dead part are the two (so far) Elvis impersonators who died. Elvis (the dog) thinks they sang so bad, they’re Grateful to be Dead.
I got the book cheap and figured what the hell. I’m glad I bought it. So far it’s really good.
I just got done reading a Rad Bradbury book, so this is a nice change of pace.

Three Bands In One

Jerry Garcia

Finally

Peace and Love with Ringo

Hannity's Hair

 Every time I watch the Hannity Show, I keep looking at his hair. He could be ramblin’ on, talking for a half hour and I would not hear a word he said. I keep staring at his bad haircut.
What’s up with that part? It’s too low to be parted in the middle and too high to be parted on the side. It’s in the “Twilight Zone.”
It looks like it’s cut so the part should be lower. I think when he goes to the barber, the barber lowers the part and cuts it the right way. Then Hannity goes home and raises the part which messes up the haircut.
The sad thing about this is that nobody tells him how funny it looks.

Bring The Outside In

 I watch some of these home improvement shows and all say the same thing. They want to bring the outside in. Make it one big space. Inside and out, all one.
Are these people for real? There’s a reason I have screens on my windows and a screen door. If I open my doors and windows and bring the outside in, I’ll have bugs all over the place. It’s amazing how they never mention this on the shows. The doors and windows are wide open, bugs don’t go in?
These people must live on a planet that has no bugs.

Two Against Nature

From the "Ralph Rumpelton Collection of Fine Art."

The Beach Boys

A Work Of Art

 

Look at those curves, the form, the beauty. She’s a work of art.
Bettie looks hot also.

Bernie and Testicular Foritude

 If Bernie had any balls, he would show up at the DNC and rip them a new asshole. I don’t think he will though. Cause in the end…………………………….he’s just a politician like the rest of them.

Museum Of Modern Art Garfunkel

George Brett / Hillary Clinton

George Brett and Hillary Clinton have something in common. They were both guilty and got away with it.

"Hey Boss"

The lady that lived next to me sold her co-opt awhile back. The place has been empty for months. Bout a month ago,  I saw a young guy standing outside the apartment. As I was going into my place he walked over to me and introduced himself. He seemed like a nice guy. He told me he just bought the place and is in the process of fixing it up. About three weeks later he moved in. In that three weeks he forgot my name. Now every time he sees me he says, “Hey Boss,” then we have conversation.
To me this is very disrespectful. I don’t think he means to do it, but it is. You call somebody “Boss” that you don’t know. The Dunkin Donuts by me, the guys in there call everybody “Boss.” They call me boss, I call them boss. It’s like a running joke in there.
So what I do with the guy next door from me, when I talk to him, I never call him by his name. I just say, “hi.”
I refuse to call him by his name until he calls me by my name. (lol)

Bob Dylan Hanging With A Couple Of Friends

We don’t know who it is, or who made it. All we know is that it’s been here a long time.

Dylan playing poker with his band

 If you notice, Dylan is sitting in front of a mirror. Great songwriter, lousy card player.

Dylan Continues His Sinatra Series

Pet Sounds

"Wild Life" / "Band On The Run"

Bob Sinatra

The Missing Link Has Been Found

He drummed for Three Dog Night.

Bobby Road

Percolation

I'm gonna sell these shirts at coffee shows and spread the love.

Dylan / Sinatra

Bob Dylan - "The Main Event"

Bob Dylan - "My Way"

Keep on Truckin' with John Lennon

Hardest Working Man In Shoe Business

Dylan / McCartney

Batman and Smile

Smile

From the Ralph Rumpelton Collection Of Fine Art.