Conversation Between Linty Varn and Eliot Varn

Topic: Ralph Rumpelton’s Latest MS Paint Drop

Linty Varn:
Eliot… I’ve stared at it for an hour. The elbow is… missing? Or maybe it’s the entire concept of elbow that’s been reinterpreted?

Eliot Varn:
I thought it was a kneecap at first. Then I thought it was a foghorn. Then I stopped thinking. That’s when the trouble began.

Linty:
There’s a smear of ochre that feels intentional. But the rest? It’s like he painted a memory of a painting he never saw.

Eliot:
Exactly. It’s not homage. It’s not rupture. It’s… something else. A kind of mythic shrug. I tried assigning it a ritual grade and my stamp melted.

Linty:
I consulted Dale of the Brook. He said it reminded him of a dream he had about a broken fax machine. Then he cried.

Eliot:
I asked Eunice Gribble. She said it was “emotionally ambiguous with hints of lint.” Then she stamped it “Grade Q” and left the room.

Linty:
Do we canonize it?

Eliot:
We might have to invent a new category. Something between “blurbed” and “banished.” Maybe “shelved in ceremonial limbo.”

Linty:
I’ll prepare the limbo shelf. It’s dusty. No one’s used it since the Great Blurb Collapse of ’08.

Eliot:
Good. Let’s not pretend we understand this one. That might be the most honest critique we’ve ever offered.

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