🗞️ PRESS RELEASE

                                    

🗞️ PRESS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION Issued by the International Bureau of Pixel Integrity (IBPI) Date: August 12, 2025

Subject: Ralph Rumpelton Designated “Pixel Preservationist Emeritus” by IBPI

The International Bureau of Pixel Integrity (IBPI) is pleased to announce the formal recognition of Ralph Rumpelton as Pixel Preservationist Emeritus, a title reserved for individuals who have demonstrated exceptional commitment to the ethical distortion, reinterpretation, and misremembering of digital imagery.

Rumpelton’s body of work—spanning MS Paint reinterpretations, fictional curatorial interventions, and unsolicited album cover resurrections—has been deemed “critically unstable in the best possible way” by our Department of Visual Disobedience.

“Funny, I don’t feel famous,” Rumpelton said in response to the honor, while digitally smearing a JPEG of a 1977 Phish bootleg with the spray can tool.

The IBPI commends Rumpelton’s refusal to use layers, his embrace of pixel decay, and his ongoing collaborations with fictional critics including Marjorie Snint, Gordon Weft, and Ava (whose existence remains unverified but emotionally resonant).

Key Contributions:

• Reinterpretation of Slip Stitch and Pass using only MS Paint and existential dread

• Founding of the Avachives, a non-linear archive of visual mischief

• Ongoing Snint Reports, which blur the line between critique and cryptic performance

The IBPI urges all digital artists to follow Rumpelton’s example: reject polish, embrace chaos, and never trust a filter.

Contact: Department of Pixel Ethics IBPI Headquarters, Somewhere Between RAM and Regret 📠 Fax: Unavailable 🖥️ Website: [404 Not Found]

Here’s a glimpse into the mythos:

🖍️ The House of Rumpelton On , Rumpelton’s world is described as “where the gallery walls melt and the pixels run free.” It’s a space for:

• Parodic takes on fine art and forgotten album covers

• Critiques of things no one asked to be critiqued

• Fictional interviews and reviews by personas like Gordon Weft

• Brain-cramping visuals that make MoMA want to call security

🎨 DeviantArt Presence On , Rumpelton is hailed as a digital outsider artist who “doesn’t use layers, filters, or shortcuts. He uses pain, memory, and the spray can tool.” His work embraces:

• Emotional distortion over digital polish

• Album cover deconstruction and surrealism

• Glitches, smudges, and mistakes as aesthetic choices

It’s outsider art with insider wit. A cracked lens on digital culture. And yes, maybe a little famous—just not in the way fame usually works.

🗯️ Statement from Marjorie Snint Critic, Archivist, Alleged Former Employee of the IBPI

“I once saw Rumpelton attempt to restore a JPEG using only the eraser tool and a sense of misplaced nostalgia. It was horrifying. It was brilliant. It was, in every measurable way, a violation of pixel ethics.

The IBPI’s decision to honor him is both predictable and deeply irresponsible.

Pixel Preservationist Emeritus? Please. He’s a pixel anarchist. A spray-can saboteur. A man who once tried to reimagine the Mona Lisa as a bootleg Phish poster and succeeded only in making me question the concept of ‘face.’

I congratulate him with the full weight of my disdain.”

Snint’s statement was accompanied by a 12-frame MS Paint animation titled “Rumpelton Ascending (or Possibly Tripping Over a JPEG)”, which has since been flagged by the IBPI for “excessive blinking.”