Turned down by the International Council of Serious Art People.
1. Dr. Penelope Varnish
Chief Curator, Institute for Post-Contemporary Visual Theory
“Dear Sir,
We reviewed your MS Paint submission with great care and several pairs of reading glasses. Unfortunately, the work appears to operate on a conceptual plane so aggressively unregulated that our curatorial framework cannot safely contain it.In short: the piece destabilizes our entire rubric for evaluating digital art. For institutional safety, we must decline.
Please do not send further files. Our interns are still confused.”
2. Marco Belladonna
Director, International Biennale of Algorithmic Aesthetics
“While your painting demonstrates what one might call unrestrained pixel turbulence, our selection committee felt the piece violates several unwritten traditions of contemporary art—particularly the one where artists pretend they meant everything intentionally.
Your work appears dangerously sincere.
Regretfully, we must reject it before it spreads.”
3. Professor Alastair D. Quibble
Chair of Digital Iconography, Royal Academy of Retro-Media Studies
“After extended analysis, we determined that your MS Paint image does not merely challenge modern artistic language—it replaces it with something we do not have words for.
As scholars, this places us in a deeply uncomfortable position.
Therefore, we decline your submission on the grounds that it may represent a new movement, and we are not prepared for that.”
Follow Ralph Rumpelton across the net.
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