DEPARTMENT OF SPECULATIVE AESTHETICS
(3rd Floor, Between the Broken Vending Machine and Existential Dread)

Guest Lecture:

RUMPELTONIAN CUBISM

The Art of Glorious Malfunction

“If Hyperrealism is the art of vanishing,
Rumpeltonian Cubism is the art that refuses to behave.”

Are you tired of paintings that look like expensive photographs?
Have you ever felt that a perfectly rendered cheekbone lacks emotional instability?
Do you believe perspective is more of a suggestion than a rule?

Then you are already Rumpeltonian.

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Topics Include:

• Why polish is suspicious

• The ethics of the wandering eyeball

• Emotional accuracy vs. anatomical obedience

• The anti-perfectionist rebellion against Hyperrealism

• Why “artful malfunction” may be the most honest aesthetic of the 21st century

Featuring slides, theory, and at least one slightly distorted cultural icon.

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Special Discussion:
Is Rumpeltonian Cubism the logical descendant of Cubism —
or its mischievous, sleep-deprived grandchild?

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📍 Humanities Building, Room 204
🗓 Thursday, 7:00 PM
☕ Free coffee (lukewarm, conceptually intentional)
📚 Extra credit offered in certain morally flexible departments

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Warning:
Side effects may include questioning symmetry, distrust of smooth surfaces, and the sudden urge to misalign something on purpose.