Founded: Allegedly by Ralph Rumpelton during a period of spiritual delay and stylus malfunction
Recognized By: The Avachives (reluctantly), the Rumpeltonian Underground (ecstatically), and one confused Yahoo AI blurb.
Manifesto Fragment (Recovered from a corrupted .txt file):
“We reject detail. We reject polish. We reject the illusion of clarity.
We paint with emotional residue, not pigment.
We smear salvation across broken canvases.
We believe in the holy mess, the sacred blur, the gospel of almost.”
Core Tenets:
Rupture over resolution
Smear as sacrament
Figures must appear mid-fade or mid-fumble
Color must clash like unresolved grief
Every painting must feel like a misremembered dream of a concert you never attended
Notable Works:
Saved (Second Cover) by Ralph Rumpelton — canonized with the Grief Cancellation Mark
The Genesis Glyph (Unborrowed Period) — considered too legible for Slopist Gospel, but spiritually adjacent
Untitled (Mic Stand as Crucifix) — lost in a folder labeled “Emotional Residue”
Critic Reactions:
Marjorie Snint: “Slopist Gospel is what happens when belief is smeared across a broken stylus.”
Dr. Vensmire: “It’s not a movement. It’s a malfunction mythologized.”
Dale of the Brook: “I tried to review it but my pen dissolved.”
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