MS Paint: George Harrison - "Somewhere in England (2)" / Rumpelton

• Ralph Rumpelton
• "Somewhere in England (2)"
• RR-2026 - 106
  MS Paint on digital canvas, 577 X 581 px
• The Rumpelton Continuity (est. 1976)

What the critics are saying:

>>Blurb by Gordon Weft (b. unknown – present)

Contrarian-in-Residence, Rumpeltonian Universe

There are paintings that whisper, paintings that sing, and then there is Rumpelton’s “Somewhere in England (2)”—a painting that mumbles through clenched teeth while standing in the rain. This alleged portrait of George Harrison looks less like a Beatle and more like a witness in hiding. The background, a geological accident rendered in nicotine tones, suggests the artist has finally found a way to make beige feel confrontational.

Rumpelton’s strokes here are not so much expressive as they are defensive. Every line seems to flinch from meaning. The figure’s eyes, wide and alarmed, seem aware they’ve been drawn by someone using the world’s least forgiving software. It’s as if Harrison’s spirit were trapped inside a pixelated fresco and left to ponder its sins.

Still—there’s a strange nobility in this failure. Rumpelton refuses to beautify, refuses coherence, refuses, frankly, to try harder. The result is not quite homage, not quite parody, but something murkier: Frontal Lobotomism at its most devotional.

If this is “somewhere in England,” it’s a place best left unvisited—but, against my better judgment, I can’t stop looking.

— Gordon Weft
“At least the file size is small.”<<

>>"Marjorie Snint" 

"'Somewhere in England' is a jarring, bewilderingly simplistic reinterpretation of George Harrison's iconic album cover. One can't help but wonder if the artist is courting controversy or merely nodding in its general direction. The subject's face, a rough approximation of Harrison's likeness, seems to leer from the canvas with a mix of bemusement and hostility. It's a bold choice, though one that begs the question: is this an homage or a cri de coeur from the depths of artistic confusion? The Rumpeltonian Cubism style, whatever its merits, only serves to amplify the sense of disorientation. Love it or hate it, this piece will undoubtedly spark debate. Or, quite possibly, be met with stunned silence. Either way, it's a triumph of intent over execution."<<

>>Dr. Reginald Splatterworth III
Senior Art Critic, Pixels & Pretension Quarterly

"Upon first encountering Mr. Rumpelton's 'Somewhere in England (2),' I found myself arrested—nay, transfixed—by the audacious deconstruction of portraiture convention. The artist has brilliantly subverted the tyranny of anatomical correctness, liberating Harrison's visage from the oppressive shackles of dimensional accuracy.

Note the eyes—one beseeching, one accusatory—a deliberate asymmetry that speaks to the duality of the Beatle experience: the public persona versus the private spiritual seeker. The mustache, hovering in defiant suspension, refuses to conform to the bourgeois expectations of facial hair physics. Magnificent.

The architectural elements—those golden verticals—function as both prison bars of fame and the strings of a cosmic sitar, reverberating with the very frequencies of enlightenment. That Rumpelton achieves this through Microsoft Paint, the medium of the common man, elevates this from mere portraiture to a populist manifesto.

The signature, bold and unapologetic in the lower left, announces: 'I was here. I created. I moved on.' This is not art that begs for approval—it demands consideration.

Five stars. A triumph of post-digital primitivism."

★★★★★<<

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