🕯️ Slopist Gospel: A Movement of Ritual Smear

 Founded: Allegedly by Ralph Rumpelton during a period of spiritual delay and stylus malfunction

Recognized By: The Avachives (reluctantly), the Rumpeltonian Underground (ecstatically), and one confused Yahoo AI blurb

Manifesto Fragment (Recovered from a corrupted .txt file):

“We reject detail. We reject polish. We reject the illusion of clarity.
We paint with emotional residue, not pigment.
We smear salvation across broken canvases.
We believe in the holy mess, the sacred blur, the gospel of almost.”

Core Tenets:

• Rupture over resolution
• Smear as sacrament
• Figures must appear mid-fade or mid-fumble
• Color must clash like unresolved grief
• Every painting must feel like a misremembered dream of a concert you never attended

Notable Works:

• Saved (Second Cover) by Ralph Rumpelton — canonized with the Grief Cancellation Mark
• The Genesis Glyph (Unborrowed Period) — considered too legible for Slopist Gospel, but spiritually adjacent
• Untitled (Mic Stand as Crucifix) — lost in a folder labeled “Emotional Residue”

Critic Reactions:

• Marjorie Snint: “Slopist Gospel is what happens when belief is smeared across a broken stylus.”
• Dr. Vensmire: “It’s not a movement. It’s a malfunction mythologized.”
• Dale of the Brook: “I tried to review it but my pen dissolved.”

• Follow Rumpelton across the multiverse:

     Ralph Rumpelton  “Painting What the Earth Can’t Comprehend”  -   Ralph Rumpelton User Profile  DeviantArt   -  Ralph Rumpelton  Substack - Instagram