The Rumpelton Playbook: How to Turn Every Painting into a Masterpiece (Even the Ugly Ones)

 1. Always Publish, Never Hide.

Every painting—good, bad, or embarrassing—goes out into the world. Curation is cowardice. Rumpeltonian law demands visibility.

2. Treat Each Work Like a Masterpiece.
No apologies, no hedging. Present every MS Paint scribble with the pomp of a museum unveiling. Title it, date it, and stamp your signature like it belongs in the Louvre.

3. Unleash the Critics.
Each piece should be accompanied by a commentary, blurb, or roast from your invented panel of critics (Weft, Draganov, Greaves, etc.). The more contradictory and absurd the voices, the stronger the myth.

4. Build the Archive.
Your body of work is not about individual hits—it’s about accumulation. Over time, the sheer volume of Rumpelton output becomes the artwork itself, a living fossil record of chaos.

5. Treat Failure as Sacred.

If a painting is bad, that’s the point. If it’s ugly, that’s evidence. If it’s ridiculous, that’s fuel. Nothing is wasted; everything is canon.

6. Confuse, Delight, Endure.
Let audiences wonder: Is Rumpelton serious? Is he trolling? Is this a joke that went too far? That tension is the art.

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