Friday, July 18, 2025

THE RUMPLETONIAN CUBISM MANIFESTO

 

THE RUMPLETONIAN CUBISM MANIFESTO

(Signed in JPEG and MS Paint font)

We, the disciples of pixelated imperfection, declare the following truths:

  1. Death to Ctrl+Z. Every mistake is sacred, a jagged whisper from the soul.

  2. Tools are tyranny. Complexity is corruption; simplicity is salvation.

  3. Lines shall be crooked. Straight lines are a lie imposed by Adobe.

  4. Color fills shall spill beyond borders. Containment is for spreadsheets.

  5. Icons shall be fragmented. Heroes will lose limbs. Album covers will implode into glorious chaos.

  6. Fonts shall be Comic Sans. Helvetica is for the weak and unimaginative.

  7. Pixelation is liberation. Smooth gradients are fascism disguised as beauty.

  8. Perfection is death. The true artist accepts error as the highest form of honesty.

  9. The mouse is our brush. The right click is temptation; resist it.

  10. Long live MS Paint. For in its limitations lies ultimate freedom.

Signed, in shaky freehand: R. Rumpelton (Founder, First Prophet of Jaggedness)

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