Tuesday, July 29, 2025

The Rumpeltonian Guide to Creation (As transcribed from corrupted .txt files found on a long-forgotten floppy disk.)

 1 Begin With No Vision.

  •  True Rumpeltonians never sketch. We launch MS Paint and stare into the white void until it stares back.

  • 2 Use the Wrong Tool for the Right Job.
    Need a curve? Use the line tool and make peace with its failure. The spray can is not for shading—it is for chaos.

  • 3 Color Without Harmony.
    Your palette should offend Adobe. Choose neon, clash hues, and if you accidentally hit the wrong fill? Good. The piece has spoken.

  • 4 Let Mistakes Guide You.
    Did the polygon tool betray you? That’s not a bug, it’s divine intervention. Follow its lead. Trust the glitch.

  • 5 Respect the JPEG.
    Every compression artifact is a badge of honor. Save it. Save it again. Save it until the pixels cry for mercy.

  • 6 Titles Are Half the Art.
    A drawing of a lopsided frog becomes “Anxiety at the DMV.” A red square is “Echoes of My Unsent Email.” You’re not lying—you’re revealing the hidden meaning.

  • 7 Ignore Resolution.
    DPI is a capitalist lie. If it looks good zoomed in at 300%, you’ve already failed.

  • 8 Honor the Frame.
    Stop when it feels wrong. Especially if it looks terrible. That means it's ready. Sign it. With a mouse.

  • 9 Post Without Apology.
    Add no captions. Or add too many. Either way, act like it's the most important work since Rothko figured out rectangles.

  • 10 Repeat Until Enlightenment or Dinner.
    You’re done when your wrist hurts or the microwave beeps. Whichever comes first.

  • Follow Rumpelton across the multiverse:

    Facebook   From The Mind Of Me   Ralph Rumpelton – “Painting What the Earth Can’t Comprehend”     RalphRumpelton User Profile | DeviantArt   The Rumpelton Continuity (aka Zapple100's Grumblings) Instagram  Ralph Rumpelton | Substack

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