By Eliza Harrington, Art Times Quarterly
The Interview
Q: Ralph, people are still trying to figure out what Rumpeltonian Cubism even is. Can you explain it in simple terms?
Rumpelton: Simple? Nothing about cubes is simple. You can hold one in your hand, yes, but try holding one in your mind. That’s when it starts to melt. I paint the cube not as it looks, but as it mocks me. Picasso fractured objects into facets. I fracture objects into half-truths, bad jokes, and memories of sandwiches I forgot to eat.
Q: So when we see your work, are we looking at cubes, or at you?
Rumpelton: Both. The cube is me, I am the cube, and yet neither of us are square.
Q: Do you think of your work as continuing Cubism’s legacy, or rewriting it?
Rumpelton: I consider it grave-robbing with affection. Cubism is a skeleton; I dress it up in funny hats and parade it around town.
Q: And MS Paint is your tool of choice.
Rumpelton: Paint is the only software brave enough not to auto-save. Every brushstroke risks annihilation. That’s art.
Critical Responses
Professor Lionel Greaves – “The Over-Explainer”
North Atlantic School of Modern Reproduction Studies
“What Rumpelton has achieved here is nothing less than Cubo-Absurdist Mythography. His cubes are not mere geometries but unstable narrative nodes, oscillating between object, subject, and punchline. In this sense, he is closer to the Russian Constructivists’ hangover sketches than to Picasso himself.”
Aurelia Monteverde – “The Mystic”
Instituto de la Sombra Infinita, Mexico City
“Rumpeltonian Cubism is a constellation. Each cube a star, each star a memory, each memory an omen. When his Paint crashes, it is not failure — it is destiny’s cursor clicking elsewhere. The cosmos speaks through his rectangles.”
Beatrix Hollenstein – “The Dramatist”
Vienna Center for Tragic Aesthetics
“Every Rumpelton canvas is a catastrophe. The cube is no longer a shape but a wound. It collapses, it groans, it bleeds pixelated blood. Rumpeltontian Cubism is less an art movement than a slow-motion disaster unfolding on your monitor.”
Final Word from Rumpelton
Q: Ralph, the critics are trying very hard to make sense of your work. Do they get it?
Rumpelton: (laughs) They’re all wrong. But at least they’re wrong in interesting ways.
Follow Rumpelton across the multiverse:
Ralph Rumpelton “Painting What the Earth Can’t Comprehend” - Ralph Rumpelton User Profile DeviantArt - Ralph Rumpelton Substack - Instagram
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