Gordon Weft: The Last Gatekeeper
Occupation: Art critic, traditionalist, and founder of Canvas Purist Monthly
Preferred Medium: Printed screeds in serif fonts
Known For:
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Once called an AI-generated Rothko tribute “an insult to rectangles.”
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Famously walked out of a Rumpeltonian exhibit muttering, “I refuse to critique screenshots.”
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Collects erasers “to remind himself art can be undone.”
Quotes That Define Him:
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“Rumpeltonianism is the artistic equivalent of tripping over a power cord and calling it performance.”
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“He uses MS Paint the way a toddler uses lipstick: boldly, blindly, and without remorse.”
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“I’ve seen better compositions in corporate email signatures.”
Follow Rumpelton across the multiverse:
Facebook From The Mind Of Me Ralph Rumpelton – “Painting What the Earth Can’t Comprehend” RalphRumpelton User Profile | DeviantArt The Rumpelton Continuity (aka Zapple100's Grumblings) Instagram Ralph Rumpelton | Substack
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